Friendship

Assalaam alaykum brothers and sisters.

First of all I want to say your diligence in the matter mashaAllaah is truly the diligence every muslim should possess when learning about their religion, and whether you like it or not it does say a lot about who you are and that you are someone after the truth. I ask Allaah to strengthen your faith and keep on his straight path.

As any human being knows, feelings towards the opposite sex are always special, and that is sometimes a good thing other times it can be dangerous. One thing to always keep in mind, Islam sets the bar for us, the bar for perfect human beings. We do our best to reach it, with sincerity and help from Allaah.

The one we learn from is the Messenger of Allaah (SAAWS). He said:

"No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan will be the third one present"

Please see here: http://islamqa.com/en/ref/34841

and http://islamqa.com/en/ref/13728

A summary of the above is: contact (phone, email, letters etc) is only out of necessity. Anything that is not a necessity either borders on uselessness or is in itself useless, and it may lead you to a situation you never want to be in (ie have feelings for one who is not your husband).

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It is a difficult thing to give up, but with the help of Allaah I think you will find that your life can continue without male friends. You can simply send a generic email to all your male friends explaining to them that unless they have something urgent and absolutely necessary they are not to contact you because you will not respond to them anymore.

This is one of the reasons why men and women are encouraged to marry in Islaam.

Look at this verse from the Quraan:

"O mankind, eat from whatever is on earth [that is] lawful and good and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy."

[2:168]

Allaah in His infinite wisdom does not say "avoid physical contact with the opposite sex", but he says do not follow the footsteps of shaytaan. As Zakir Naik said, a person would say "What's wrong with a phone call, its just one phone call?!" and then later on that same person would say "What's wrong with a dinner, its just one dinner?!" and then later on that person would say "What's wrong its just one night!!".

The danger is there for both men and women so it is definitely not a one way street.

The bar is there for us, and that bar is ultimate success in this life and the hereafter.

Islam is not only a religion of cure, but emphasise more on prevention.

[taken from TurnToIslam.com]

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O Allah,

Please guide my friends and me on how to conduct ourselves according to your will. Jauhkanlah kami daripada menjadi orang-orang yang menlampaui batas dalam segala hal.

Amin~